love comes in many forms

I am emotionally spent. I am currently working on a ward for the elderly who are severely ill, this means death is a daily occurrence in my life. This week I have seen more disappearance of souls than you may see in your lifetime and it has been putting a lot of stress on me, I have been going home at the end of the day and easily going through half a bottle of white, no problem. But after the stress then comes the sadness, I am emotionally spent, I mentally have no energy, my brain wants to dream about happiness for a while, whereas my body is still pretty high on adrenaline. And the worst part...i cant seem to shed a tear, so here comes the cleansing process, watching the most tear inducing film i can find and conjuring images of loved ones who have passed, i need these tears, until they fall my heart feels too pathetic, rejected, alone, the beginning of what i like to call, love depression. Although the love causing this pain isn't because of a boy im lusting over, doesn't mean its not just as bad, perhaps it's worse, after all this love is as real as the salt water trapped behind my eyes.